Monday, September 01, 2014

Last night? When was last night?

Saturday, August 30, 2014

It's difficult to believe that August is over. Where did summer go? I've been busy with lots of visitors and much toing and frowing. The couple that owns the village café had a medical crisis this summer, he needed emergency surgery and has been out of work for a couple of months. Several of us chipped in to help them out and I've been tending bar on the weekends when I'm here. I've enjoyed it so much that I'm considering finding a part time bar tending gig when I return to Paris.

I'm seeing a lot of Emile, in Biarrtz, the Paris apartment and here. In a way our relationship is normalizing, but it is a strange normal. When Denise was here we discussed being the kept woman. Being secure-insecure, you never not when you will be dumped. Being comfortable, having a routine and place. But not happy or fulfilled.

For a while, Denise fell out of my life, not for a reason, just bad timing. We promised each other that we'll do a better job of staying in touch. We're a lot alike, sharing neurosis and interests.

I'll be heading to Paris on Wednesday, my grandmother and aunt are arriving. Grandma loves Paris and has friends here, and realizes that she soon maybe too frail to make the trip. Granddad, though healthy and golfing twice a week, nine holes on a Par 3, he wasn't up to the trip, so my aunt Lillian is coming. Can't wait till see them.

Well off to my bar tending gig!


Wednesday, August 13, 2014

My family began arriving Thursday for our summer get-together. A local inn served as headquarters and the charm of the village provided the back drop. Saturday evening the "kids" asked to stay at my place staking out places on the floor to spread their mats, at least till their parents headed for the door and the youngest chased after them with looks of panic on their faces. The middle kids stayed, Robbie, Matt, young Grace and Henry, who stayed close to me when Leah left. Wags was in doggy heaven with all the kids to beg treats from.

Robert came and the stench of a dying marriage seemed to follow him and Grace all weekend. It seems as if we are only waiting for the announcement.

This weekend marked the 11th anniversary of our mother's death and the first time we have been together as a family on this date. We're past mourning her death and on to celebrating her life and joking how mom pops up in each of us.


Sunday, August 10, 2014

In Memory of My Mother

Tuesday, August 05, 2014

It has been a hectic summer that is going by too fast. Anne Marie and Hannah have come, gone and will be back. Both Denise and Irena spent time here and their stays overlapped. One evening, Mirelle joined us and it was like a college sleepover or kittens playing in a basket. Catherine arrives this afternoon and the rest of my family at weeks end as we are having our annual get-together in the village.

Meetings brought me to Paris for several days and gave me a chance to have dinner with the twins. Mandy wanted to go back to the café along the Canal St Martin that we dined at last summer, so I made reservations. The girls can be peas in a pod, but their personalities are so different. Mandy is effusive and very outgoing. As she walks, she'll make eye contact and smile at those she passes, while Abbie is different, closed, looking straight in front of her as she walks, her eyes hidden behind sunglasses, even in the fading light of the evening. When they sat down, Mandy began flirting with the server, a cute guy in his mid-twenties, she asked to see the wine list and ordered a glass of chardonnay. The server looked to me for permission and I nodded. Abbie looked perplexed and looked to me for guidance and I told her that if she wanted wine she could have it. She ordered what her sister had. After dinner I took them home in a taxi.

While in Paris, I had a date, a woman who I met shortly before leaving for Nord Capp. It didn't go well, she seemed addicted to her phone, constantly checking even while conversing. I asked her if she was waiting for something important and she wasn't. When the server came to order, I decided to cut my losses and asked for the check. Nothing ventured…

News on the Mr. Envelope front, I wondered if his ruminating about the nature of our relationship would lead him to break it off. That would be OK, though it would put a dent in my finances. But it hasn't, when I checked my accounts on the first, I found that he had deposited my retainer, rather than parse it out to me in envelopes when we got together. In our conversation that Saturday, I noted that this habit added to the transactional nature of our relationship, he understood. He has also informed me that he has taken an apartment for us in the Marais, and I'm welcome to make it my residence. Doubtful, I like a place of my own, but I'm tired of hotels, this will be better. By the way, his name is Emil.


Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Mr. Envelope has a vacation home in Biarritz and others near Nice, favored by his wife, a ski place in the Alps and a get-away in the Turks & Caicos. He asked me to spend a few days with him in Biarritz, so last Wednesday I drove down to join him.

He was amused when I pulled in driving Buster and kept referring to me as "mon petit hippie." Wags was with me as Mr. E insisted that I bring him. The house has a water view with a beach across a small street and is very contemporary. It is not ostentatious and of a nice size.

He didn't have an agenda for my being there, we went out for dinner on Wednesday and Thursday, while Thursday afternoon we went up to Capbreton and he sat on the beach and watched me surf. At breakfast Friday, he asked what I wanted to do, shop, I told him. I had peeked in his closet and well he needed some new clothes, this amused him and off we went. We found a nice men's shop and they were glad to assist in dressing Mr E.

We lunched on the terrace at Chez Alberts, a nice, but stuffy established gentry type of place. After lunch it was my turn to shop. And it was quite a haul if I do say so myself. Emile made a good pack horse.

Saturday evening I cooked him dinner and that pleased him. After we sat on his deck drinking wine as the light fade over the water. He was getting a little drunk and a bit maudlin. He asked if I was only with him for the money and I told him that if I didn't enjoy his company, I wouldn't stay with him just for the money. Then I reminded him that he has been very clear that he wouldn't divorce his wife, so what future would I have? "You knew that a mistress was expensive when you sought me out." He nodded.

With that it was time to change the subject, and I excused myself for a moment to fetch something that I had brought for him. When I returned I stood in the doorway leading to the deck in a frame bra and ouvert with numerous leather straps. His interest was piqued and he forgot about the expense of his mistress.


Monday, July 07, 2014

It was a fun and interesting weekend, one of secrets revealed and promises made. When they arrived dinner was ready and the 3 chowed down as if they hadn't a home cooked meal in weeks. After the girls wandered out to find kids that they met other summers and had kept in touch with, Kenny and I took a pair of folding chairs and the rest of the wine and walked to the wharf and watched the sun set across the bay.

On Saturday, Kenny wanted to go deep sea fishing and Abbie chose to accompany him. He figured something was up, but wasn't going to question the chance to spend time with his daughter. They were up and gone early with the lunch that I packed them. After they left, Mandy came down and I proceeded to make breakfast for us.

As I melted butter in the skillet for the omelet we talked, or mostly she did and I'd ask the occasional question. The word slipped out as she talked about a friend, a nice young man that I'd met the previous summer. "I went to the Louvre with my lover..." I was about to crack and egg and I broke it in my hand. I let it pass for a moment and finished making the omelet. As we ate, I asked her if by referring to her friend as her lover, if she had been intimate with him? She looked away from me, her face a beet red and nodded. My head wanted to explode.

We talked, she had been plotting her deflowering for a while and had chosen this boy, unbeknownst to him as her first. I asked her if she enjoyed it and she said she was scared and it hurt more that she expected, but yes...

I asked if she had spoken with her mother, no was her reply. I explained that I felt she had put me in a bad spot as her mother expected me to watch out for her daughters and that I felt an obligation to do so. She pondered this for a while and promised that she would speak with her.