Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Dmitri is a pretty good cook and quite adept at romance. A nice combination in a man. Later we made love then fell asleep. About three we were both wide-awake and he wanted to talk with me. Three AM is probably not the best time to have a serious conversation and this one was one that I would rather have avoided.

He started by telling me that he had seen me out with a gf and asked if she was someone I was seeing regularly. He meant Wendy; I explained that she had returned to the US. He then asked me if he was correct in assuming that I enjoyed being with him, since I’m seeing him about twice a month. I told him if I didn’t enjoy seeing him and didn’t care about him then I wouldn’t see him. He then told me that he really cared for me, that he loved me (yes he used the word), and that when I was ready he wanted to see if we could build a life together. By then I was in full waterworks mode and that completely befuddled him and he wondered if he had said something wrong.

I told him that I thought he was a wonderful person and that it would probably be better if he found someone else, but that I didn’t think any man could be nicer and better than him. He asked me about Christine. I was honest with him and told him that her and my relationship was one plagued with bad timing and missed opportunities and that we both wonder what might have been or could be, but that we had decided to go about our lives and to explore what if’s, if we have an opportunity.

I think this confused him, so I explained that we both had things in our lives we were pursuing, for Christine it was her degree and for me it was starting a life away from the type of place I grew up. We fell asleep then and in the morning I made him his lunch and sent him off to his school. The morning was damp and threatened showers or flurries but I decided to walk home anyway.

Kim

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good for you. Honesty is always the best policy, no matter how painful the truth may be for the receiver. Although I do not understand or applaud your lifestyle, I must admit you do have ethics and morals, which is refreshing, for anyone. - Jeanne

4:59 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

Thanks Jeanne. I care greatly for Dmitri, maybe even love him, and do not want to see him hurt or to hurt him.

But I doubt he will go away and I won't push him. The only thing I can do is be as honest with him as I can. Our lives will play out and at some point we will be together or apart.

Kim

6:02 PM  
Blogger Garrison Steelle said...

And this is exactly what makes you so wonderfully beautiful, Kim. Such honesty is compelling. There is no way Dmitri can stay away.

-G

6:34 PM  
Blogger darling maggot said...

kim this made me feel =(

10:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay. I've read this line several times before in your posts "... and in the morning I made him(her)his lunch (brekafast)and sent him off to his school."

The words have housewife/maternal stamped indelibly on them.

Oh, make me breakfast dear Kim! Please. I will "cut the crap".

I identify with mornings. I like to pad around half awake; make an omelette; experience the beginning of the day. Maybe I should have been a housewife.

Wait, I do that everyday for the wife and kid!

Signing off as
House Husband

1:53 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

What can I say HH I love to cook and little makes me happier than feeding people and the little routines that come with it.

I'm guilty about being maternal and I want kids to.

My mom always made sure we sat down and had a good breakfast and she used the time to talk with us about our day, what we were doing and what we wanted to accomplish. Those are nice memories.

K

4:39 PM  

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