Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Over the last few weeks my old friend Gail and I have been exchanging emails that amount to little more than gossip about her brother Mike and Elyse’s relationship. Gail confided that Mike has been searching for a woman to marry since leaving high school and was disappointed that nothing worked out with women he went to college with. Gail confessed that she has been relationship phobic and at the first hint of seriousness she’s out the door. Another example of how we all are different.

Last fall I put the brakes on my relationship with Dmitri, choosing work as a prostitute over allowing the relationship to develop. But I realize now that part of what brought me to Paris and what attracted me to prostitution is that I want my life to be different, to push the normal strictures. If it hadn’t been my work another reason would have come between us.

I have a better feeling for what I want in my life in a longer term, particularly having and raising children. But it is the next few years that I'm struggling with. Even now I’m feeling restricted by my choice but I don’t know what I want…yet.

Gail has come over on a reconnaissance mission for the family, to check Elyse out. E and I have been joking about it for days. E's nervous and it shows, it helps that I know Gail and have assured her they will get along fine. She and Mike will be in Paris this weekend. I’m looking forward to seeing them.



Anonymous Brandon Shahid said...

What it could be useful for?

6:04 PM  

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