Wednesday, October 12, 2005

The most frequent way I find interesting blogs is by following the links to writers of interesting comments on posts of favorite bloggers. That is how I came to Elle Wakefield and her blog Butterfield 11. One thing that intrigued me is that she is a part time courtesan who maintains a day job, a somewhat unusual choice, and another being she’s opinionated. This post caught my eye and while I concur with this statement:

Being a mistress is the worst of both worlds—you loose your independence, and have an exclusive emotional attachment to a man that will never have the same attachment to you. Financially speaking, a mistress will never make as much money as a courtesan.”

I think she is too judgmental, regarding women (and perhaps some men) who are kept.

“…it seems that mistresses are often weak-willed women with low self-esteem. Typically, they lack career prospects—they are the women that majored in communications…” Well maybe a bit tongue in cheek.

For many women who settle for being the ‘other woman’ what they really want is to be the W-I-F-E, but of course that position is occupied and so they settle for being supported. Then of course there is the reality of the legal environment in some jurisdictions. Being a mistress is inherently a more private transaction than trolling for clients through an agency, a website or Craig’s List and I don’t believe that this fact should be underestimated in the choices people make.

For myself the thought of being a mistress is distasteful, though I can think of a couple of my clients who if they offered, would cause me to consider it.

Kim

5 Comments:

Blogger Thaϊs said...

I have accepted such an offer.
Something I thought I'd never do...

However: I am madly falling in love with him. I have never met a man like him. He admits to feeling the same.

There are no children in this marriage except for his own company. He is planning to sell it sooner rather than later and move with the rest of his dreams. There is a significant break down in communications and feelings between him and his wife.
Hence my expectation is that divorce is a significant possibility, it's simply a matter of time.

In the meantime, I will just try this relationship and see where it goes. Right now we are at the stage of infatuation. We both have fantasized about a "happy ever after". If that will turn out to be impossible, this relationship will probably last for a year or two, and afterwards I will return to companionship. But at least I'll have the experience.

2:06 PM  
Anonymous j said...

It appears Elle has (unfortunately) retired from blogging for a while.

I've known many mistress situations, most quite sad in the end. Example: the father of a friend had a multi-year relationship with a woman. He never left his wife and eventually recommitted to that relationship. Did not help the children's emotional health at all, unless you think suicide attempts are healthy.

4:22 PM  
Blogger W. S. Cross said...

Settling in life is what most of us do: it's just a matter of realizing there comes a point when we can't go to med school after all. It's not always a bad thing, but it can be a disaster in the emotional department, since a mistress will always have second place. I have known women who liked that, because they only have him when he's ready to play, not when he's sick or hung-over.

5:02 AM  
Anonymous Pussy Talk said...

Yeah, what WS Cross just said: you get him when he wants to play. And he wants to play with YOU. You don't have to live with him and have him underfoot all the time. Have your man and eat him too. With no happy-ever-after illusions.

I could SO do that.

DTG xxoo

5:36 PM  
Blogger An international escort's luxury travel blog. said...

It is not unusual at all having a day job and being a part time companion. I too have a day while I enjoy being a companion. Most of the high end ladies I know maintain a steady day job. Thus our high rates:-)

As for being a mistress: Some are happy with such an arrangement, while others prefer a more independent route. However I tend to agree with W.S. Cross

9:40 PM  

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