Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Suicide flows through the history of my family like rivers across a plain. It hides in the bulrushes waiting for an opportunity to seize another life. Kenny called, a second cousin, a cousin once removed, what is the formulation? He was the son of my mother’s cousin has taken his own life.

I didn’t know him; my only recollection was from a family reunion in the Smokey’s when I was about twelve. Ken said he was a couple of years older than me, which would have made him fourteen. I remember a painfully shy boy, skinny with acne, who was embarrassed the whole weekend due to his inability to squelch an erection in the presence of his pretty girl cousins in their bikinis. No one said anything nor teased him though we giggled about it when beyond his hearing. At least till Grace and our cousin Jennifer made us feel guilty about our actions.

The demon has snatched one of my generation. I pray that he is satiated and leaves the rest of us in peace.

Godspeed cousin.

Kim

7 Comments:

Blogger Pete from Cal said...

I'm sorry Kim about the loss of your cousin even though you weren't close to him. I'm more afriad of the depressions that you experienced and talked about in your older posts. Hope you haven't feel that way lately. Are you still seeing a therapist? Please use the blog as your outlet and talk to us if you are feeling down, okay!? Take care!

7:48 AM  
Blogger Cath said...

Condolences Kim, to your family and those who knew your cousin. No matter who it is, no matter how poorly we knew them - it is a waste of a life. Be at peace.

9:27 AM  
Anonymous VJ said...

Damn. Sorry for your loss. It's amazingly common enough, it does not necessarily have to be familially linked. Keep well, 'VJ'

9:37 AM  
Anonymous j said...

You need to speak with a therapist about this. Seriously.

5:53 PM  
Blogger Clandestine Call Girl said...

Kim:

So sorry to hear about your loss. I hope you are doing well, despite.

Hugs,

CCG

6:10 PM  
Blogger el Bow said...

I am a therapist and see no reason why this, in and of itself, should mean that anyone should go see a therapist.

Sorry for your loss, Kim. Suicide has caught about 1/3 of my family as well. It's an odd heritage to inherit.

el

8:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Child of suicide, here. Lost my dad. Chin up, Kim. You have much to live for.

- AthenaNY

9:07 PM  

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