Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Raymond was waiting for me at the baggage claim as we arranged. He was holding a bouquet of flowers and wearing a goofy smile. I’m pretty sure I skipped the last few steps into his arms to receive my reward of a long slow kiss. I was pretty keyed up and excited when I arrived and by the time my bag came around Raymond was probably wondering if the pod people had kidnapped his Parisian sophisticate and replaced her with a perky motor mouth.

We went back to his apartment, which was ours for the weekend with his roommate going to his parents for the holiday, partook in a little, Hi how are you, I’m reeeeaaalllly glad to see you. After which we met another couple for dinner.

Dinner was at a small family owned restaurant in a cute neighborhood. I liked his friends and since I had relaxed (orgasms have that effect), I could carry on a normal conversation. Over dinner it was revealed that we had a late cancellation. I wasn’t surprised and as you may surmise there is a story that explains all.

About a month ago, via Raymond, I sent an email asking if anyone had food allergies or particular dietary restrictions that they wanted me to know about and asked that they reply in a couple of weeks. I wanted to plan the menu early since R would be doing the shopping I needed to think through exactly what I’d need and write a comprehensive list. Poor R, he ended up with several lists. The food, what I needed for cookware and utensils, tableware, place settings, serving bowls etc. After he saw the list he complained that he didn’t know what half of the stuff was. I told him that he’d figure it out. He did by recruiting help.

Tuesday evening my grand parents are watching their regular shows and I’m checking email and noticed a message from one of the guests informing me she was a vegan. Now if I were home this wouldn’t be a problem, but now it was. Among the regulars at Café Kim are two friends who are vegans. For them I’ve found several recipes and when I know they are coming I whip up a couple as their main course and as a side for the others. And I would have done the same for this woman if she had replied to me sooner.

I resisted the urge to send a snarky reply, though I did compose one and put on my best Emily Post and thanked her for the information and said, “…hope that you will join us at the table and enjoy the meal. If you wish, please feel free to bring a dish.” From the comments at dinner she wasn’t missed.

Thursday morning I was up early, just before four. I had some calls and emails to return, a client was imagining a major problem and I helped make that a minor one. A friend had left a message with a lead on some office space and a broker I knew wanted to know when I’d be available to look at a few places. I fear finding office space will be as bad as finding an apartment.

Around seven Raymond wandered out of bed and gave me a, I think your crazy looks. The girlfriend of one of Raymond’s buddies had offered to help with the preparations and she arrived before eight. I enjoy having someone to cook with, particularly those meals where there are many small tasks to be completed. The time goes by and I’m not tempted to sing. Inevitably it will be some sappy pop song that will stick with me for days.

The core and the closest of R’s friends have known each other since college. I asked what the group was like and got a lot of information from her. Diane has been dating this guy for six months and she feels like he might be the man she spends her life with. One comment she made was interesting, that they are almost like a high school clique and that while the guys are fine the women weren’t open.

Finally the turkey went into the oven, we had a target of eating around five, + or – an hour. It didn’t matter when it would be done since most were arriving by one to watch football. As anyone who has cooked Thanksgiving dinner or observed the process you’ll know that it is a lot of work, followed by waiting, leading up to a fire drill.

The break gave me a chance to clean up and change. I’d fussed over what to where and finally decided on a simple black skirt, with black tights, ballet flats and a deep rust colored cashmere sweater, finished with a set of Grammy’s pearls. While I was dressing I heard the first guests arrive. As I was pretty nervous, I was relieved that the first arrivals were the couple from dinner last evening and Diane’s BF.

Shortly the others began to arrive and then I met his fuck buddy. At least I think she was (is?). I have seen her sitting next to him in a few pictures, I asked once if she had been a girl friend and his reply was one of those vague answers that informs you that there is more to learn. But there was also the vibe between them and how others seemed to be careful around me about her. I can’t begrudge him that relationship after all I have Denise (listen I can’t write about everything here).

Out came my Leica, partly to record the event and partly to keep me occupied and stanch my nervousness. Someone joked about me being one of those people who are always taking pictures and then someone else asked if they could see some, so I fired up my lap top and let them browse the picture folders.

I have my pics organized by event; say Fall 2006 P-P or Café Kim and the date or location of the event. They loved the party pictures, particularly familiar faces. A Café Kim file was opened, it was a brunch at the apartment where I housesat in the Seventh. The couple in the first picture and others is well known and also lived in the building. We’ve become friends and they are regulars at my table. It’s odd seeing (a sliver of) your life interpreted by others who see it as terribly exotic, but to you it is only your life.

Dinner was a success, a couple of guys stood in the kitchen and cut away all the possible meat left on the carcass and devoured it. There were also several prone snoring bodies, another indication of satiation.

Friday I was up early again as I had conference calls. By ten my workday was over and I turned my attention to the neglected but well fed Raymond. R had groused a about my working; he admits that he doesn’t understand why someone would want their own business. I’ve tried explaining my reasons but it doesn’t make sense to him. That afternoon he showed me where he worked and we went up to his area. It was on the third floor of a suburban office complex. He took me to his cube and as I looked around I thought, but didn’t verbalize, this is why I want to be my own boss.

The remainder of the day he showed me around the city and pointed out the Parisian department store downtown. It was a very pleasant way to spend the day. In the evening we went to a basketball game and I fell asleep in the car on the way home. The day had been too long.

Saturday morning we slept in and began the day with a bit of loving. Later I convinced him to join me on a run as I was feeling the urge to stretch out. R tried to set the pace but it was a slow for me, so I picked it up, and that ended up being too much for him. I waited patiently on the step to his building till he could walk back. The remainder of Saturday and Sunday was mostly spent lolling around in bed making up for our separation.

Monday morning R dropped me at the airport for my flight to LA where I am now. On the way I made a couple of decisions. First we need to do something about the elephant, aka, where we live. If our relationship is to continue to grow, and I believe it will, we can’t be a half a world apart. R knows this, though he hasn’t talked about it. Our tour of the city was not only for me to see it, but also for him to promote it. Indianapolis is nice enough and though I would never choose it for myself I would join him here if not for the other considerations, Kim & Co.

It’s not that I want a decision now to be implemented tomorrow, but I want an understanding between us as to what we’re going to do. We’ll see each other again the week after New Years in Miami, we’ll be alone and there will be time to talk.

My second decision will be to stop escorting if we have a plan. I tried and failed miserably to balance a relationship and that career. I won’t put myself or another person through that hurt again. The timing on quitting could be right, my two to four clients a month, plus Charles, is usually two, with one client being Jacques. But Jacques is undertaking one of his occasional forays into romance and so he has put me on the shelf anyway (funny how he chooses fall for these flights of fancy). Charles, I’ll see next week, but there is no reason to tell him till next month.



Anonymous VJ said...

Thanks for the updates Kim. Some decent developments there to be seen. I was suspecting someone like Denise to show up on the scene too.

Still, you'll forgive an outside observer from noting that R sounds a bit immature, and might need some work, especially in your work life department. This is really critical stuff to get right early too. He either is or is not compatible with your aspirations for Kim & Co. or he's more or less completely quizzical or worse clueless about the deal. In a supposed culture that encourages entrepreneurialism, this lad sounds lost as to why anyone would want to run their own business. That's not a good start right there, but I suppose he can grow with some serious learning & work.

Indy's not a bad town for the Midwest, but IN in general is one of the more conservative & miserable states on that upper tier. But perhaps you know it better. It's not got a particularly decent business town reputation, and the only thing I can think to recommend it is the cheaper housing. That's a serious consideration of course, but getting the boy right on your work is the vital missing piece here. That can and does cause plenty of household strife & dissension when there's no basic agreement on both sides as to the extent of the involvement for a spouse or mate. Relocating to where he is is of course only one option. If he thinks you're truly worth it he should consider relocating himself. Somewhere along the coasts might be the preferable course of action, but I imagine time will tell. The basics (well besides the sex) really need to be there, or you'll wind up in the same boat, only it'll be a bit delayed in the reaction from an angry spouse resentful of your work. It would be slightly different if he was pulling down a serious non cube salary, or was an intern someplace going fast towards management level. But you'll still need your salary from Kim & Co., and you'll need to hang on to those contacts & skills.

So I think it can work out, and I'm only reading what little I can glean from your lean description here. But it'll take plenty of serious & long heart to heart talks, plenty of mutual understanding & reassurances. My thoughts on the escorting bit are well known, and I think it would be a much welcome change. It's a life's transition phase, it really can not be a career in full.

In any case I was thinking of your exploits over the holiday, and I was glad to hear that you enjoyed yourself. I don't think I can recall the wife in pearls either. Not even while we were dating. R has a very special lady & FB or no, he's got to come to some serious conclusions soon, possibly with some deeper thoughts of compromise about his vast good fortune & your relationship. And yeah, Dear Abby was out today;> Cheers & Good Luck as always, 'VJ'

10:25 AM  
Blogger niadarkandlovely said...


It sounds like you have a lot of decisions to make.

Does R feel threatened by you having your own business, or is it that he just cannot understand why you do?

Good luck with it all.

11:50 AM  
Blogger Pete from Cal said...

VJ made some good comment about R and your situation. I agreet with his assessment on R and why he doesn't understand you'd want to be your own boss. Who wouldn't want to be their own boss?? *shrug*

Glad to see your turkey day was a success and how grateful your guests were for your culinary skills! Wish you would elaborate on what you made so I can salivate even more. :P

Some serious decisions ahead for you and R, relocation, and escorting. Take your time before deciding and go with your heart. Take care!

7:29 AM  
Anonymous A said...

Ummm. Indianapolis is boring as hell and as Red state as they come. Yeah, might as well consider Louisville. hehehe


It does have a great airport and is a hop and a skip flight to Chicago or other major destinations.

6:19 PM  
Anonymous A said...

Let me rephrase that.

Indianapolis is on par with St Louis.

Hope that's clearer.


You'd be better to see if someone would love some adventure abroad.

6:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And last thing. Before considering a move to the US, consider the economy.

Still a little choppy.

Hoosier. ;)

6:28 PM  
Anonymous VJ said...

Hoosier has a good point there. I think the US economy will be dragging for the next few months, perhaps as long as a year due to the housing crash & subsequent inventory overhang. Predictions are that almost anyplace in the EU will be doing a bit better. Cheers & Good Luck! 'VJ'

9:53 PM  

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