Monday, December 04, 2006

Perhaps if I were a complete girl and an incurable romantic, I’d dump everything and move to Indianapolis for love, but I’m not and I won’t. So becoming a Hoosier is out. Kim & Co. means too much to me, others depend on me and we have commitments to keep. My friends doubt that I’d be happy and my business advisors do not believe that K&Co could survive unless I started from scratch around that market.

From a business point of view, it was pretty unanimous, Dad, Robert and Grace, my grandparents, my business coach and Jacques feel Raymond should come here or maybe London and I would commute weekly. New York headed the list of viable US cities and is the one I’m most comfortable with, but that would mean that I'd split each month between Paris and New York. This would be fine for me and I know others do it but I don't know if it would work for R. Early in our relationship he told me that he doesn’t like NY and doesn’t feel comfortable there, so it would be unfair to ask him to move there and leave him alone half the time.

Having Raymond come to Paris raises issues starting with he doesn’t speak French and then there are the barriers of regarding being a resident alien and work permits. London only eliminates the language problem. On a positive note, his current company has offices in both London and France and even better has similar positions to his, and that leaves the possibility for a transfer.

Damn this is complicated.



Blogger niadarkandlovely said...


London seems like the easiest option :).

I know this sounds really silly, but have you tried writing a list of pros and cons for each issue?

11:32 PM  
Anonymous VJ said...

I think many of the pro's & cons were weighed, and the majority feels about the same way I did when I parsed the issue awhile back (last week?). Romance has very little to do with it, you've got to eat, and that means employment. You've got a business in hand to grow & support and that's always a serious responsibility & an ongoing concern. It always helps to hear others out with their thoughts and ideas on what might be the best course to take given your situation.

Me, I'd go with either London or NYC. If London, I'd also have him tutored in French, just for the utility sake. But he really does sound like a swell sort of small town boy. Which means you can take him out of Indy, but he'll always be a hometown boy at heart and want to live out in the flatlands. The corn, the crops, the small towns, the whole deal. There's nothing wrong with that, it might just be slightly more incompatible with a jet setting existence on the east coast, or even London for that matter. I also think it would be a disaster waiting to happen for him to be living in Paris with you just yet.

So yeah, life gets awfully complex fast when this coupling comes up. This is why humanity for eons has preferred to have their sex w/o much fuss or commitment. And there in lies a tale, right? Cheers & Good Luck! 'VJ'

11:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not sure even love is worth being known as a..."Hoosier". There are some places where it really is better to be "from. Hehehe

Commuting every week will get tiresome after the novelty wears off. Really tiresome.

And if he works in a cubicle, chances for a transfer are far and away. Corporations just aren't transferring people to other countries these days if similar skills are in the local market.

This situation as it is now will be one where someone will have to make a concession.

But, work permits are only needed if he would work for another company as an employee. So maybe there's an alternative where he could be a "business visitor" if he was independent.

And there are probably ways around being a resident alien. Depends on how adventuresome R would be.

Can I get you a beer, maam?

1:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The important thing is that there are possibilities. When you are doing long distance, it takes time to sort out all this stuff, but atleast when you have the very real hope that one day it will be sorted out and you will be happily living in the same place, you can keep going. Atleast, that has been my experience and it seems much the same for other couples I have met. Is R thinking along the same lines, or is all the planning pretty much on your side still? Since he hasn't ever lived overseas, it must be quite difficult for you to walk the fine line between helping out with suggestions and leaving him to decide on his own what he thinks he can do.

3:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hoosier: In eastern Missouri and southern Illinois a derogatory description of a Red Neck's Red Neck.

5:37 PM  
Anonymous alexd said...

How can you bear the thought of leaving Paris? It's so difficult for foreigners to find a liveable niche in French society, and you've managed to do so. Indeed, I get the impression that you are thriving, both personally and professionally.

Learning French is not so difficult, especially when you are immersed in the culture. I've known people become quite fluent in less than twelve months (of course, they were highly motivated). The written language takes a lot longer, and that may be the real professional impediment that R faces. Depending on his job, it may be insurmountable.

7:53 PM  
Anonymous A said...

"Hoosier: In eastern Missouri and southern Illinois a derogatory description of a Red Neck's Red Neck."

As the saying goes, "Lock up your daughters and dogs for fear that hoosier men will get ahold of them."

Lots of culture in Indiana.
The Indianapolis 500 where cars go round in circles til they're dizzy, or the spectator is.

Lafayette (aka Laughalot)

Corn growing

French Lick

Wheat growing

State fairs

Grass growing

Hoosier Dome

Soy beans growing

Louisville KY is right across the Ohio river

***Actually I could be talking about Iowa too (another state beginning with the letter "I")

10:13 PM  

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