Tuesday, December 05, 2006

We haven’t talked directly about it, though I sense that the distance is on his mind also. I mentioned that we need a plan and he agreed. Right now I believe we are both seeking a solution. Christine and I spoke at length this evening; of all my friends she has the most sympathy for Raymond’s attachment to the Midwest. She holds similar feelings and is now struggling with the realization that the schools where she wants to do her graduate work are on either coast. Her thoughts are that London is the best compromise since it has a minimum of separation and allows him to ease his way in to living in Paris.

Regarding paper work compliance. I don’t know if we have any real choice but to follow the rules. My commitment to living in France is only growing and if he came here and we build our life, immigration problems are that last thing we’ll want. R likes that comfort of employment, even if many of us view it as false security, and he’ll acknowledge that. He has the illusion that if he does his work and works hard he won’t need to worry about his next paycheck. Suggesting to him that he needs to up root his life and become an entrepreneur is as unfair as forcing me to give up Kim & Co. We need a middle road.



Anonymous A said...

Would you like a Guinness or a Heineken, Miss?

I would take a guess that paperwork compliance could be something taken care of when all the decisions have been made and all the pieces fit. Then once he's committed, have at it. Form 1 form 2 form 3 form nnnn.

I'm sure there are some permanent tourists living in France who maintain citizenship elsewhere and eventually decide on dual citizenship.

Now a sly woman would figure out what R's star is that he can steer by.


In other words, what does he like to do (in terms of work/hobby/etc) that could he could be paid to do. Find out what he likes to do that he would be willing to take a chance on uprooting himself. Maybe even help him layout his plan.

Having someone to encourage him and handhold along the way makes a big difference in contrast to going solo.

Some pretzels, Miss?

3:51 AM  
Anonymous VJ said...

London would not be a bad launching point, if he's going to be 'over there'. I'm not certain how satisfying that might be for him.

Having R think 'He has the illusion that if he does his work and works hard he won’t need to worry about his next paycheck', is just as precious as it is dangerous at almost any age. For a brief period of time that may have been true for dear old dad, it's very clear that it's no longer the case. Almost anywhere.

But I wanted to think positively of just how many formerly small town guys & gals grew up to be world class travelers once they hit their stride or found their place, (here I was recently thinking of Andre Leon Talley among others). Love can be a powerful motivating force, and it can take you to places you did not expect and could not plan for. He sounds like a decent candidate for such an expansion, and it can work out better if he understands the changes as opportunities and challenges instead of merely obstacles. It's happend to many, many folks down thru the years, and many reasonably successful relationships & friendships have started and continued that way. Here's hoping you work it out to everyone's mutal satisfaction. Cheers & Good Luck! 'VJ'

6:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello sweet precious one,

I hope that gets sorted out for you soon. Thank you for changing your links and I have added your journal to my new page. So sorry for the delay, things have been rather hectic.

I always value your sisterly support. You are truly the sweetest thing Kim.


2:57 PM  

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