Monday, March 28, 2011

Saturday I was browsing the shops along the Bd. Saint Michel when I ran into Jacques’ cousin, whom I’d met several times in the past. We greeted each other, air kisses ensued and we chatted for a few minutes when she asked if I had plans for lunch. I didn’t and was agreeable so we chose a café.

A few months ago, I’d been exchanging emails with Jacques regarding some mutual business interests and at the end of his final of the series he concludes, “by the way, Saturday I will be getting married. The ceremony will be at the house in St. Tropez.” I was stunned; I had no idea that he was even seeing anyone. It was early in the summer that I last saw him, we had lunch, and before that we had spent a day together in March looking at vintage cars. “Congratulations, I responded, who’s the lucky woman?” His reply came almost immediately with a name. I Googled her of course, my curiosity satisfied I did everything in my power to put him out of my mind, but if felt very weird.

It was inevitable our lunch conversation would turn to Jacques. “We were all surprised she said in a gossipy tone, we figured that you would be the one who would eventually snag him, as he kept coming back to you.” There wasn’t much for me to say and I probably couldn’t get it out anyway as my stomach began to churn and the tears welled up in my eyes. I’d so thoroughly stuffed my feelings upon learning of Jacques’ marriage that I never allowed myself to grieve the loss of his friendship and the thoughts of what never would be.



Blogger J said...

I had no idea your emotions for Jacques were quite so strong. Remember, life is "un grand cercle", and "your" time may come around again


9:35 PM  
Anonymous VJ said...

Got to luv the French though. Everything's it's own separate discrete world. Often only separated by inches & minutes, but by worlds dissimilar. There's that exciting bit you've got on the side, and then there's that slightly boring but 'proper' woman with the good solid family & fine business connections that must be your wife. It obviously never occurred to him, he just thought he'd keep seeing you after too! Sorry Kim, I know it hurts. Playboys. The same the world over! Brighter moments to you, 'VJ'

5:53 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

Jean - My relationship with Jacques has been long and complicated, simply there is a lot to unwind.

VJ - Perhaps, but some time ago I turned down his offer of a nice apartment in the 16th with a Mini convertible and a comfortable stipend. With Jacques the only way I can keep my sanity is to be his partner or remain his whore. As my client I was always too fond of him. As his mistress I would have fallen deeply in love with him and would have been miserable. Now I'm living the third way and that is fine.

8:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sorry girl *hug* let yourself grieve, for sure. xoxo

9:08 PM  
Anonymous VJ said...

I say we need a betting pool to see how long it is before you get a phone call from J asking you to 'see him'. If they're a Honeymoon? (Who knows what traditions are being kept here!) I say it's no longer than 3 months after that. If not sooner. I'd be surprised if it's as long as a year though. I imagine it's not very much about 'targeting' here, it's all about the class & the money issues. That's all. Cheers & Good Luck, 'VJ'

5:10 AM  

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