Friday, May 20, 2011

I’m still kind of ambivalent about Andre and our relationship. I like him, enjoy being with him and importantly look forward to seeing him when we aren’t together. But I wonder if that is all there is?

A friend told me the story of the romance with her husband. They’d been friends in college, dates of last resort and the person that would come to a family gathering when there was no one else. And they were occasional fuck buddies. All the while they were frantically seeking other romances until they realized, or maybe accepted, that they were a pair. That was twenty years ago.



Blogger J said...

You are still exploring with André, and no need to be in a hurry. But hold on to these thoughts ... if in 6 months or so you feel the same way, then maybe it will be decision time. Don't "settle" long term for anything less than magic.


7:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gay or straight? - M

7:14 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

Does it matter?

7:57 PM  
Blogger J said...

obviously ... it does not


10:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Come on, it matters if you aren't being yourself at a deep enough level that you can remain happy with a male (or female). This isn't about judging you, but about you and yourself. There is an assumption that you end up with a guy but much of your writing, assuming it's true, is about your relationships with women.

The question is really no different than we face in everything: how much of what we do is rooted in internalized assumptions? We face this in work, in romance, in everything. - M

1:59 AM  
Blogger Kim said...

M: I understand what you're getting at and I haven't given that any consideration. But you've have me thinking about A and how he is different from Dmitri and Raymond, intentionally focusing only on men, with whom I either got beyond or didn't feel the same ambivalence. The only things that I can think of is that A has more guyness about him. Though don't ask me to explain what I mean. Also D & R seemed more comfortable in their own skin than A does.

It will work out, everything does.

9:37 PM  

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