Monday, August 24, 2015

My birthday is Tuesday, I'll be 35. Friends have me on a suicide watch, just kidding. In the spring I was cleaning out some papers and came across a list of things that I wanted to accomplish or experience by my thirty-fifth birthday.

As I reviewed the list I noted that I could check off many of the items. Some were personal and of minor consequence such as travel while others were major, like starting and running a successful business. The significant failures incomplete goals for myself are finding a life partner and "have children, three."

Today I'm no closer to a life partner than I was at the time that I wrote the list, but that bothers me less than not having children. Then I viewed kids and a partner as two separate things, I didn't need the second to have the first. After all I could become a regular customer at the sperm bank or allow myself to be knocked up by some cute, accomplished guy. Anyway that was my thinking when I wrote the list. 

Things change and I watched as friends found partners and started families and those who had been single parents found a partner. I saw how happy that made them and I concluded that I'd been fooling myself, having a partner was important, but by then I'd run out of time for the children.

In the morning I'm driving to Juliette's farm to see her and Dad and to celebrate. Anne Marie and Hannah are here and they'll join us. We'll have a good time. I'm happy, fulfilled but feeling not quite complete.

Kim

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy birthday Kim :)

Kisses

Volpina (old time reader)

11:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday!

4:40 PM  
Blogger J said...

Belated Happy Birthday Kim. We can't always get everything we want. You have made your choices, and largely they have been good ones. You need to remember that, how good life is for you. You have every reason to be happy.

Jean

8:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy birthday. Good news is everything seems to be happening later in life. Maybe this isn't a good example for you to hear, but I remember the first 40 year I met who was having her first child (other than my Catholic neighbors who couldn't stop having children because ...). Now it's common. - M

4:25 PM  
Anonymous rodrigo said...

Happy belated birthday Kim!

Haven't been reading you regularly (and only went back to blogging recently, myself), but it's nice to see you're well, and I think I can identify with you - yes, even as a guy.

Many happy returns and take care, as always :)

4:43 PM  

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