Saturday, February 27, 2016

No, I'm not dead.

I'm recovering, a little at a time, a slip now and again, then a side step, but I'm better. I've been working at the REIT, at first doing mostly busy work and the stuff that never gets done. It was tiring at first and I'd go home exhausted, but lately I've begun to wonder why my partners comment about being so busy, the pace is much more relaxed than Kim & Co.

With regards to the REIT's business, I've mostly focused on our investments outside France, but in the last few weeks I've begun doing data analysis on our Paris holdings and I'm coming up with lots of questions and causing discomfort.

A friend owns a flower shop that she runs by herself with a high school girl who comes in after school as a part timer/apprentice. My friend's mother was hospitalized for several days and on her release needed pretty much constant care, but wouldn't go to a rehab facility as she fears she would never leave. My friend is an only child and faced the unsavory choice of closing her shop for a week or hiring a full time nurse. A visiting nurse is available for giving meds and changing dressing, but someone needed to be there almost all the time. Having the time I volunteered to run the shop, I enjoyed it more that I expected.

One thing that I've been working on with my therapist is issues related to PSTD and a couple of weeks ago I had a major anxiety attack brought on by activities at a construction site that I was walking past. The workers were using a 'gun' that shoots fastening into concrete, hearing those 'shots,' I flashed back to that Friday and collapsed to the ground in quivering, blubbering heap. A couple assisted me and as we talked the told me they are facing similar issues as they were at the Bataclan Theater on that night. We're keeping in touch.

I've been staying in Paris on the recommendation of my therapist, to build a strong routine, but I pining to go to the village for the quiet and slow pace.

Mimi and I had lunch the other day, it has been months since I've seen her. She has an app running on her phone that counts down the days and seconds till she is released from her golden handcuffs. Only a few more months.

Good new to share, Anne Marie and Hannah will be returning to France, if not Paris, or maybe Belgium or Spain. They could comeback now, but Hannah is finishing a graduate program. Where AM will be assigned is still to be decided. If it is at one of the company's premier properties it will be as the senior assistant general manager and if it is at one of the smaller properties, she'll be a GM.  



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Over a month without a post on top of news of your struggles, I for one was concerned maybe you'd had a relapse and were back in the hospital (or worse). Folks who read your blog do develop a fondness, and granted it's a one-way deal, still, we do wish you well and look forward to reading more. So, I for one am glad to see you carrying on out in the world. I can only pass on a virtual hug, but there it is.

2:02 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

I appreciate the concern, the support and the hug. Frequently I thought, I should post something, but I've been focused elsewhere and I didn't realize how long it had been.

5:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You don't owe anything to readers, just yourself. If you feel that updating gives you something, as I suspect it does, then update. Someone I know once said in her typically astute yet self-deprecating way, "I'm the hero of my own story, aren't I?" It's a question and it's not a question because each of us is even if we don't know it, can't accept it or can't live with it. So what you choose to share, what you choose to make up, what you withhold ... it's your story. - M

7:24 PM  

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